To anyone who will listen
If there are any at all
Please listen to the dark secrets of my heart
For I can bear them no longer

This Journal to to all my fans that find value in my art and have seen me grow throughout the years. However, I have left you all for many many months and gave up my will to update this deviant acount for my heart was broken. During this time I grew as a person and my art has improved dramatically. But this came with sacrifices on my own behalf and others.

If you still care about what has happened to me over this time, my new deviant acount is "Koachi" I also made my own website, cut my hair, got a fairly good paying job of $7 an hour (which is my first job ^_^) and got like 3 trophys and a medal!!! So go me! So um, remember I love you all and you'll see me out in the world someday!

Please fill this out… please?

1) What religion are you?


2) What race/ethnicity are you?


3) Are your parents divorced?


4) Do you believe in woman’s right to get abortion? (Why?)

I recently visited The Savannah College of Art and Design (SCAD). OMG it is so awesome. I'm really excited and am looking forward to being able to go there.

Setback: It's a really good school... and well good school's don't come cheap.. *eep!* Hopefully I can find some art related job for some experience... >_> (kinda hard to find someone that will let a 16 yr. old girl work/volunteer) ah! And the scholarships... seems that my grades are not bad and because of my extra classes and IB Program I can look at some nice scholarships... Working on a portfolio is tough too... and i found out a really good art teacher is gonna work at my school and she came from SCAD *dies*.

I'm only a Junior in High School but hoping big. I hope that I'll have some luck in my life.

yeah, well actually didn't say that, i sorta just put my head down and covered my face, and nearly cried. (mixture of joy and embarrassment)

So what was this all about? Even though I'm only in the 10th grade, I'm working on scholarships because I don't know where I wanna go. But the thing is I don't have any confedence in myself.

Well, here it is... not only had I won 2nd place in the city wide math fair (damn then they didnt send me my awards yet.. >_> but I also won THE YOUNG ******* AUTHOR'S COMPETITION. I like freaked out like seriously. anyways, I only won for my 1oth grade level at my school (had to represent the school) and I won in my district, so now my entry is going off to STATE!!! I'm really excited, I didn't think I'd get past just the school level.

Anyways, I hope that my stepmom will somewhat like me I guess... (hardly anyone in my family knows I write... )

*sigh*

Sometimes I lay back and think "why?"... The world is filled with questions waiting to be answered... but usually cannot have a reply...

WHY?
People go through numerous events that change their lives for the better or the worse, based on perspective of course... but some fall under the weight of the world, yet some conquer it. Their strength not known, but the question "why?" comes in... why them?... why are they so special?...

...Because they try

...Because they don't give up

...Because they believe in a better future

maybe not every "why?" can be answered... But from the ones that can be... listen and learn...


thank you michael for giving me the hope for better things...